The Recognition of Who God Is is a Lifelong Process

Is it normal to be this distraught over the fact that I only have twenty pages left in my journal?

...well... hopefully it is. I'm pretty upset.

The last time I kept a journal was during my freshman year of high school. The only reason I haven't burned it yet is because I want to give it to a future daughter to show her how stupid I was and (hopefully) to help her avoid making the same mistakes I did. If I wasn't saving it for that reason.. it would be gone by now.
It took me awhile to come back to journaling. I just felt stupid every time I tried, afraid that I was going to be shallow and lame and only write about how my day was and boys and etc.
But in February of 2011, I was apparently really depressed and I found this journal that my grandmother had given me and I wrote this poem. I also wrote this quote beside the poem: "We learn to look to the past to see the victory He's won and we look to the future with hope."
This quote isn't just about the Bible and our walk with the Lord, but I think it also sums up my journal. I look back every now and then to see if I wrote anything on the specific day, and it's so encouraging to see how much I've grown. I've grown in my relationship with the Lord, my understanding of Him, and my knowledge of life.
My journal is full of quotes that I find inspiring, Bible verses, poems and stories that I have written in order to get my feelings out. It's full of joy and sorrow, songs and screams. I don't write in it every day. I only write when I feel inspired or down trodden. But the Lord has met me there, in this little red book.

Elizabeth Elliot said that "the recognition of who God is is a lifelong process." C.S. Lewis also said that "when you come to know God, the initiative lies on his side. If he does not show himself, nothing you can do will enable you to find him."
It is through this book and my writing down my thoughts and desires that I have continued this life-long process. And, by answering my prayers, God has shown himself to me through this book.

I think that's why I am so sad that I'm almost finished. Of course, I'm excited to see what the Lord will do in my life during this next year and what He will show me while I write in the new moleskin I just bought. But I'm sad to finish this chapter of growth.
Unlike the journal that I kept in ninth grade, I will NOT be contemplating burning this book. This one will have a loving home on my shelf. Unlike the journal written freshman year, This book will be going to college with me.

Do you have a little red book? What has the Lord been showing you recently?
love, CA

Solet'ssettheWorldonFire....at King's...

I am inspired by women of God. I am inspired by good writing. I'm inspired by a love for beauty and knowledge. I am encouraged by women of God. I'm encouraged by good writing. I'm encouraged by beauty and knowledge. I'm encouraged by walks and talks and coffee dates. I'm encouraged by being silly and dancing around a kitchen to music turned up.

I'm Encouraged and Inspired by my best friend.

Meet my best friend.

Tonight was spent with Joy Louise, listening to a poet recite his poetry and talk about literature and the importance of it, and drinking coffee and talking about God and College and God.

I am so thankful that we are both pursuing the same college. We have been on this long journey of school and searching for school and searching for our identity in Christ together since 8th grade. This journey to King's has been so hard and so good and I am so so so so thankful that Joy was on this journey with me. We have laughed about school and cried about school and prayed about school together. She called me the minute she found out who her roommates were and I called her when I found out mine. We've talked about our houses, the pros and cons of school, what church to go to, and whether or not we should live together (we decided not).

We read Wendell Berry together

The calm before the storm was tonight (which is ironic since it was pouring this evening). Tomorrow the last group of kids trying for the Founders' Scholarship goes. After tomorrow we could find out any day what our financial situation looks like. After tomorrow we find out what God is going to do with our lives.

(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

We edit each other's papers. and drink coffee

this is her cat.

So, Thank you Lord for everything you are going to do after tomorrow. And Thank you for Joilee.

after tomorrow.. my life will be completely different. Lord, Your story is perfect. *big sigh*

we do weird things..like put nutella on peeps...

love-C.

Monday..And A Little Wendell Berry

Holy Crap, Hello 80degree weather!!! It went from being kind miserably cold to super hot in a matter of like three days.
So it's the start of a new week. HERE WE GO. last week was one of the longest, most tiring weeks I have had in the longest time. I am so glad that it's over. I have a feeling this week will be no better, but I'm starting the week off with a cheerful attitude. That's good, right?!







Top Music of Right Now: Lightening by The Wanted // Domino by Jessie J // any thing Gungor // my Walt Disney pandora station (I get particularly excited when Tarzan and Mulan show up..)







In American Lit we've been reading Wendell Berry. My mother is obsessed with Berry and I've always held him in high esteem. And then I actually started reading his work. Even though I don't agree with everything he says, I love his style and the way he explains what he's talking about. He's a good example of an excellent writer. I wanted to share one of my favorites. I agree with him here :)

Telling the Truth

Dear Friends,


Your teacher, Ms. Linsley, has written to tell me about your writing class, and to ask if I might have something encouraging to say to you. This is an assignment that I take seriously, and I have been asking myself what you should hear, at this time in your lives, from an older writer.

The thought that I keep returning to is this: By taking up the study of writing now, you are assuming consciously, probably for the first time in your lives, a responsibility for our language. What is that responsibility? I think it is to make words mean what they say. It is to keep our language capable of telling the truth. We live in a time when we are surrounded by language that is glib, thoughtless, pointless, or deliberately false. If you learn to pay critical attention to what you hear on radio or television or read in the newspapers, you will see what I mean.

The first obligation of a writer is to tell the truth--or to come as near to telling it as is humanly possible. To do that, it is necessary to learn to write well. And to learn to write well, it is necessary to learn to read well. Reading will make you a better writer, provided you will read ever more attentively and critically. You will probably read a lot of contemporary writing in your textbooks, in magazines and newspapers, in popular novels, etc. The contemporary is inescapable. You may more easily escape the writing that is most necessary to you. I mean the books we know as "classics," books that have been read for generations or for centuries and so have proved their excellence.

As you learn to judge what you read, you will learn also to judge, and so improve, what you write. Reading, I think, is half of your responsibility as students of writing. The other half of your responsibility, of course, is to write, and your effort to write well, as I hope you already know, will make you better readers.

But you must never forget that the purpose of all this effort is to become capable of knowing and telling the truth.


Yours sincerely,

Wendell Berry


Well, I'm off to read some church history, Berry, and a little Jane Austin. 
{My bestie and I were discussing yesterday how Jane's works are so applicable to life. Way to go Jane.}
Happy Monday everyone! I hope you have a fantastic week. 
CA

Hello Spring Fashion. I love you.

I'm in love with spring.

Seriously. I mean the fashion this season is fantastic. I absolutely adore the lace and open back dresses and shirts and the hair piled on top of your head. Something I've been coming to grips with is that your style is YOU and no one can tell you that you need to change. My style is very different from my group of friends and I used to think that I needed to dress the exact same way they do in order to be better friends with them. But than I realized that it's ok that I dress differently. It's me. And if they can't be friends with me because I don't dress like them, then they don't need to be my friends (although, they are totally not like that :) But I think it's true. BE YOU. You're beautiful, because God made you like that. {all photos found on pinterest. follow my boards for more fashion like this!}

Die so you can Live

CHRIST IS RISEN!!!

Happy day after Easter :) I hope you all had a blessed day full of Jesus' resurrection and brightly colored eggs. Maybe some chocolate bunnies too. I wanted to share some thoughts from the sermon my pastor preached on sunday. I was struck when he said that we take the fact that Jesus raised from the grave for granted. We have lost the joy of the resurrection! It's so true! I don't think about the resurrection half as much as I should, let alone let it effect my life the way it should. The gospel should fill us with joy and awe everyday (as should faith and repentance). Something else my pastor talked about was the distinction between travelers and tourists. Daniel J. Boorstin says "The traveler was active; he went strenuously in search of people, of adventure, of experience. The tourist is passive; he expects interesting things to happen to him. He goes 'sight-seeing'" G. K. Chesterton also tackles this subject by stating that "the traveler sees what he sees, the tourist sees what he has come to see". My pastor said that travelers immerse themselves the in culture, learn the language and is apart of the place they go to when a tourist barely learns the language and collects stories and souvenirs to take home with them. He compared this idea to the idea of disciples vs believers. We have stopped calling christians "disciples" and instead call them "believers" now. A disciple is a traveler, he immerses himself in the Word and lives it out, learning the language and customs. A believer is a tourist, just passing though, collecting $200 at Go and taking stories back home. I want to be a Traveler, I want to be a Disciple. <- new challenge. If the resurrection is real, than we need to stop being tourists and become avid travelers.

The rest of Easter was spent eating ham, collecting eggs, wearing pretty dresses, and telling my family about my china trip.

Maggie and I egg hunting

my bestie, Danika, and I at church

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!!!

xoxoME

chinachinachina {I'm Home!}

Honey, I'm Hoooooooome! Hello world! I'm back from China! Let's just say that it was an amazing, hard, insightful trip. I learned a lot about my self and I grew in my relationships with the Father and my friends. I'm so thankful it happened. It would take me forever to tell you everything that happened, so instead I posted a few instagrams of some highlights :) Enjoy!! and more blogging about other stuff to come :)

I tried Frog....It wasn't bad! even though my face says otherwise it was good. Kinda slimy and boney though...

Meet one of my dearest friends, Amy. I don't know if I would've been able to survive two weeks in another, strange country without her. She kept me sane and focused. I love her so much.

Let's just say that the Food was probably the highlight of the entire trip. This picture is from one of my all time favorite restaurants. We went three times. the food was UhMazing.

We went to Walmart. enough said.

These three girls I love dearly and hold their friendship close to my heart. (l to r: Amy, Hannah, and Gabbey) They made China so so great. I'm so thankful for them.

This is Xipu (pronounced sheepoo), Chengdu, China.

We went to a Mosque..

And saw Pandas. it was amazing.

our last night in Xipu was spent doing karaoke. Instead of bowling on the weekends, the chinese go to KTVs and sing. I would so much rather do that all the time. I suck at bowling...

We went to Pizza Hut.

These beautiful people are our friends from Chengdu. I love these people so so much and miss them terribly. They are amazing.

Meet Kuwon, the coolest kid around.

Amy and I love Lillian. :)

Rockin my school on the Great Wall of China. hecktotheyeah.

Here's a little bit of the great wall and the summer palace..

So that's my trip! I missed writing here... I'm excited to be back. Happy Wednesday!